[Home Maker Project]

Do you drive a blue Mercedes

Pt: Do you drive a blue Mercedes?

Me: No. I wish I do. I drive a Toyota Corolla, the cheapest trim. What do you drive?

Pt: Port authority.

Pt: Listen, when is your break? I have thirty dollars in my pocket, can you go to GetGo buy me a pack of cigarettes?

Me: Sorry Sir. I usually don't have time leave the hospital on my break. I have other patients.

Pt: ......

This is the second time I take care of this patient. CF had a special order for 15 minutes smoke break during last admission. I guess that's the way the doctors try to boost his compliance to treatment. CF has lung cancer that metastasized to the his brain. He got SRS (stereotatic radio surgery) and lost lots of hair, this time he looks like a Mohican. He still drifts in and out of a shelter due to his homelessness. The care team is trying to get contact with his brother and talk about the goal of care.

Do you believe in God?

JB is a very well groomed and well composed woman in her sixties. She is very appreciative of care. During the morning assessment, she told me she wants to get out of the hospital and go to her dental appointment which was scheduled next week. She also longs for her home bed. She was diagnosed last stage breast cancer and went through couple lines of treatments. The doctors advised hospice in goal of care meeting yesterday.

In the afternoon, as we get to know each other better, she became teary. She held my hand while I was attaching the blood pressure cuff to her arm and asked me, "Do you think it is cruel to say how much time you left? Why do they do that?" I paused taking her vital signs and tried really hard to get an answer for her. But I didn't. I just said they do that having your best interest in their minds, so that you can arrange things and have good time with your family.

I asked about her family. She complained about her husband eating too much BBQ, she said she is very proud of her son who is in Maryland working a well paid engineering job, she is also glad that her daughter who works for the county. She admitted that all her grand children are doing well at school.

She thanked me for talking with her. With her hands cupping my hand, she asked me, "Do you believe in God?"

I replied, "I am sorry. I am actually not religious. I believe if there is a God, he would be the one to make final decisions and take care of us when we can't."

I asked her "Do you want to talk to a pastor? I can page them."

"No. I don't want to talk with them. I just want to go home."